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Close My Eyes


This moment in time is always so odd. My third child will be born sometime in the next two weeks. I am apprehensive and incredibly excited. Soon we will be rushing to the hospital, dealing with doctors, calling parents, and meeting a new family member. Absolute chaos.

But for now, we wait.

When my brother finished boot camp with the Marines, his least favorite phrase was “Hurry up and wait”. They would get up before dawn, rush through their morning routine, and stand in formation. Sometimes formation would last hours. When would the next task be?

I think of a theme park. The adrenaline from every twist, turn, and flip is so fun. Anticipation heightens the feeling. Apprehension begins to build as you approach the front of the line. You smell grease and metal. The ground falls away to the sound of ominous clicking. Now there is a moment of stillness. You know the drop is coming soon, but not precisely when.

“We’re going now!” My wife was having irregular contractions, but they were coming very quickly. All-day she shifted and struggled with the oncoming birth. It was certainly less than pleasant for her. More importantly, the apprehension was killing me! I made the call. When we got to the hospital, she was at 8 cm!

The experience was much different with our second child. Her water broke at 11 PM on a Tuesday night. I had been asleep for only a few minutes when she nudged me awake. The next thing I remember is my wife laughing. “Can you get a towel?” I looked like a frightened deer. Talk about a drop on a roller coaster!

My unhealthy habit when dealing with change is to close my eyes. At the top of the roller coaster, my apprehension reaches its zenith. The drop is inevitable, and I just close my eyes. What an overwhelming feeling of dread! Ignoring it is the best option.

It can be easy to close our eyes to change. This is a recipe for resentment.

As a family, we are very big on routine and structure. Our oldest craves it. He doesn’t like new twists and turns. We often have to say: “You have to learn to roll with the punches. Sometimes things change, and that is okay.”

Look for the opportunity that God has made in the loop-de-loops of life. Embrace His purpose for you. It is the most rewarding thing you will ever do.

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